January 26, 2014

Dear Nina,

You are already a month old! These days you still spend most of the time sleeping, but every now and then you are content to just look around, waving your arms and twitching your feet. 

You have such a range of facial expressions that change in an instant. There's the sweet angel face when you are sound asleep, with your cheeks that are fatter than ever. Then there's your red face with a white star, when something is really painful for you; how do you scrunch it up so tight?  You also have the turtle face, usually when you've just finished eating, where you pull your chin back and suck your lower lip under in a tigh little pucker - that one is not your best look. And of course there are your little smiles, smirks, yawns, and frowns that come and go sporadically. 

You also have a whole repertoire os sounds. I still haven't figured out exactly what the shrill, milisecond squeal means, maybe frustration? The deep grunt is definitely for bowels or gas. The smacking lips is clearly for hunger, accompanied by a screaming cry to wake me up at night for feeding. The repetitive wailing cry could be almost anything: you're too cold, you got disturbed, you have a full diaper, you want to be held, you want to be upright, you want your arms out of the swaddle, you don't want to sit in the car seat. That one is the trickiest to figure out. Sometimes as you fall asleep you let out a little whimper like a puppy dog, and after gulping down lots of food you often let out a big sigh.  Those are just adorable. 

You haven't experienced so many different activities, but so far you seem to enjoy having a bath, at least until it's time to get out. You love lounging in your baby bean bag chair and your baby bouncer, even if Kenna comes by to sniff you or lick your toes. You also love being held so you can lay on your tummy - you've had a few naps on Mommy's chest like that, and I think that's the best sleep you ever get. 

You've already come such a long way since your days in the NICU, and you've changed so much. I can't to see what new things you have in store for us next month!

Love,

Mommy

December 28, 2013

Dear Baby Bump,

I really miss you. Baby Nina decided she wanted to join the world a month earlier than we all expected, so our time together was cut short. Even though I was starting to complain about how big you were - it was getting so hard to put on my shoes, and I kept bumping you into tables - I really didn't mind having you around. I still instinctively put my hand over on the right side to feel for any kicks or squirms, but now it's quiet. Then I remember that Nina is already here and I'm happy with that realization, but still sad that she's not part of me anymore, going along everywhere I go, eating what I eat, hearing everything I say, listening to everything around me. 

We had a really good time together, you and me. And you were so cute, everybody loved you! You looked great even in winter sweaters, and you didn't knock me over even when I wore boots with heels. You never got quite big enough to be a true shelf or drink holder, but you were always a perfect fit for resting my arms. You were also so modest: even at the swimming pool people didn't notice you until I got out of the water. 

In the end you did your job, and you did it well. Next time though, could you let me know how I can keep you around a little longer? More milkshakes? More afternoon naps? Fewer dumplings? You'll always be the boss, so I'll do whatever you want. I really hope that next time around we can hang out together even longer. 

Miss you,

Allyn

December 26, 2013

Dear Nina,

This is the story of your birth... no disgusting details, just the order of events that led to your glorious entry into the world.

December 25
10:50 pm
I laid down in bed and felt your feet move way up under my ribs, and from what I remember there was a really big bump sticking out just below my ribs.  Then I got into bed and felt a little trickle, and when I looked there was indeed a little puddle of "water."

11:00 - 11:45 pm
I was in a bit of denial and disbelief as I sat on the toilet, trying to decide what to do first.  I checked the Sprout app to see what I should toss in the "hospital bag" and I checked the apps for United, AA, and Delta to see what flight your dad could catch from Cincinnati back to Houston.  I also sent a text to Dr. Stern and to Nina B. to possibly get a confirmation that it was in fact time to go to the hospital.

December 26
12:00 am
I woke up Grandma and Poppa to tell them that my water broke.  Grandma said, "Phil, feel her stomach."  Poppa said, "I don't need to go to the hospital; I have to go to work."  In a few minutes Grandma was dressed and we were on our way.  My contractions had definitely started, and when I used the Sprout app again to time them they were about two to three minutes apart, lasting a minute each time.

12:30 am
We checked in at the St. Luke's ER, confirmed my registration, and went up to labor and delivery triage.  The ER registrar was a nice guy that was sure his shift would end before I had a baby...

After being officially admitted I called your dad.  There was no answer on his cell phone so I woke up Nana and Papa in Cincinnati to let them know you were on the way and your dad needed to book a flight.

1:00 - 2:45 am
In triage I was two centimeters dilated, and contractions were still consistent.  The nurse, Amy, was great: she was calm and made everything clear and understandable.  I turned on Enya to relax, put on my hospital gown, and focused on breathing slowly.  I felt a need for number two, and when the nurse checked I was at seven centimeters.  The contractions were coming faster and stronger so they called Dr. Stern.  By the time he arrived it was hard to rest between contractions, and I was squirming and wiggling through each one.

I kept my eyes closed and tried to concentrate on anything I could remember from the HypnoBirthing class.  Before I knew it, bright stage lights were on, a lot of people were around, and they were telling me it was time to push.  They told me things like "Take a big breath, hold it, use it to push... Push harder... Don't vocalize, use it to push..." And all I was thinking was Just reach in and grab it!  Take it out! 

Then after a flash of searing pain they were handing a baby to me.  You were crying out loud and looked perfect.  Your cord was so thick, and Grandma was right there to cut it.  They told me you were a girl, and I really couldn't believe it.  I got to see the nurses weigh and measure you, starting checking you and cleaning you, while Dr. Stern took care of me in my final stages. 

What I did not fully realize at the time was that your dad called again to check on us right as you were coming out. Grandma put him on speaker phone, and one nurse said you turned your head toward it just after you were born, when you heard his voice. 

So, five weeks early, Christmas night, as a surprise to everyone, that's how you came into the world.

More in love than ever,
Mom

December 1, 2013

Dear Genetics,

Thank you! I kept wondering when you were going to reveal the tell-tale pregnancy sign of stretch marks, so I was pleasantly surprised when the doctor said I was lucky not to have any. I suppose he meant that if I didn't have any by 28 weeks then I likely wouldn't have any at all.  We'll see about that, but so far I am quite thankful that you have spared me that symptom of pregnancy.

I suppose you are also to thank for the continuing flatness if my belly button. I'm perfectly content seeing that it looks like a cantaloupe rind, and is not protruding like some mysterious appendage.

If the monkey turns out to be a girl, I'll be sure that she also shows appreciation for the benefits you give her, especially when she tries to blame other things on you...

Thanks again for the little things,
Allyn

November 5, 2013

Dear Shanghai Commuters,

Apparently at first glance I still don't look like I'm pregnant.  Could it be that I'm not wearing an apron dress, or that I don't come waddling along like a farmyard duck?  Well, the fact remains that I am indeed six months pregnant, and therefore would like to enjoy that nicely designated seat for "pregnant, elderly, or handicapped" passengers on the metro.

As I boarded the Line 10 metro at the zoo station heading east into the city I was not the least bit surprised to see that it was very crowded with several hundred of you on your way to work.  The first two stops only brought on more people, but finally at the third stop there was a mass exodus and a subsequent rush to fill the empty seats.  Naturally I was a bit slow and did not get to claim a seat right away.  I hope you don't mind, young woman with your iPhone in one hand and fake LV bag in the other, that I thrust my belly into your face to let you know that I'd really appreciate sitting down.  Thanks for not making a stink and just letting me take your seat.

Of course the rush hour crowd only worsened on Line 2 downtown at the final station on the Puxi side, heading over to Lujiazui in Pudong.  So Mr. Tall-Chinese-Man-Listening-to-His-Music I hope you weren't too bothered when I squeezed in at the last minute, and squished myself right up next to you.  Maybe you didn't even notice that my little monkey had a bout of hiccups, that it wasn't my phone ringer on vibrate or indigestion that you felt rumbling against your own torso.

And by the way commuters, have you noticed that even a 6-month pregnant woman is still capable of walking up the stairs to exit the station?  Do you think you might consider walking off that extra chicken leg or pork dumpling by heading up the stairs instead of cramming onto the escalator like a bunch of sardines?  Just a suggestion.

Apparently in the past people were much more polite, respecting their elders, giving way to others, helping out little old ladies or bulbous pregnant ones.  I'm not saying that everyone is just a jerk, but where's the common courtesy?  At least I can count on the immigration officers to invite me to the VIP line.  Too bad the modern culture seems to be one of "me first" everywhere I turn.  Be on the lookout for pregnant passengers and offer them a seat, would ya?

Thanks,
One exhausted mama on the metro

October 28, 2013

Dear Victoria,

You've been so good to me for several months, and now you're just trying to kill me.  Pilates has been such a fantastic way to stay healthy and in good shape, starting long before this pregnancy, and I know the benefits are still paying off and will continue to help me once the baby is born.  However, did I mention you're killing me?  When my arms are twitching and shaking I cannot possibly be bothered to think about your instructions: "hug your baby in" or "keep inner thighs strong" or "maintain shoulder blades down."  All I'm thinking is how incredibly slowly you count backwards, and how I might just collapse before we get to "one."

This doesn't mean I'm not taking any more classes with you, or that I'm going to whine and complain to you.  I'm just saying that you know all my weak spots and manage to work them like hell much to my temporary discomfort.  The best is that I can never actually get angry at you because you're just so darn sweet all the while that you're torturing me.  I admit I was a little worried when you said you like this phase of my pregnancy because you can still make me work hard, and I'll be relieved when we get to the part where you ease up a little bit.

Regardless of my whimpering and complaining I certainly appreciate your knowledge and expertise, and your dedication to keeping my body fit and ready to birth this baby in a few more months.  I'm sure I'll be pretty excited to get back into the pilates studio after a few weeks with the newborn!

With inhalations and exhalations,
Allyn

October 14, 2013

Dear Monkey,

Yes, like it or not, that is the nickname your dad and I are giving you for now, simply because we don't know if you're a boy or a girl.  We think monkeys are incredibly cute, and your dad even got you a beautiful collection of eight Curious George stories to start your library.  We've already starting reading to you, but I know you'll like the stories even more when you can see the illustrations, and then even more when you can ask us questions or tell us your favorite parts.

Thank you very much for finally moving over a little bit.  I'm sure you were perfectly comfy, all snuggled up under my rib, but you were getting to be a real pain in my side!  I also don't understand why you've spent all your time over on the right when there's a perfectly good womb spread out across my belly for you.  Believe me, you want to use up all the spare space before it's all gone and you have nowhere to go but down and out.

I do like that you seem very active throughout the day, and if you're active at night it's not enough to wake me up.  Your dad hasn't been patient enough to feel you, although you do have a sneaky way of quieting down as soon as he puts his hand on my belly.  Does his big hand scare you?  Or is it more like a big soft blanket that makes you calm right down?  Oh well, I know it won't be long before the world can see your movements under my belly, so your dad will have no problem feeling any kicks, bumps, wiggles, or squirms.  Keep it up - I like it.

And congratulations on another successful trip, this time to London and Istanbul.  Thanks for letting me roam all around London to see Buckingham Palace, the Tate Britain, the V&A Museum, and the Natural History Museum, and to go shopping at Fortnum & Mason, Harrods, and all along Kensington Road.  I'm not sure if the music at The Book of Mormon scared you or excited you, but you definitely heard it!  I'm glad we convinced the flight attendant that you wouldn't prevent me from performing the required tasks in the event of an emergency so we still got to sit in the exit row and stretch out on the way to Istanbul.

I'm also glad that you enjoyed all the feta cheese, kabob, eggplant, olives, and other amazingly delicious food in Istanbul.  I'm really sorry the weather was so yucky that I had to keep you all covered up, but I think you were just fine.  It's still warm enough back home in Shanghai that my snug skirts and thin tops show you off well enough.

Your dad is out of town for work this week, so when we talk on the phone I'll be sure to get him on FaceTime or at least turn on the speaker.  Luckily he's going to Korea and Japan, so there's a good chance he'll find another adorable book or cute little toy to add to your collection.  You are already soooo spoiled; I feel bad for your future little brother or sister.  By the time you grow up you probably won't realize how good you had it as the first child.  I'll try and remind you when you complain about chores, your ruined toys, or the cry baby you have to put up with.

Lots of love,
Mama