January 26, 2014

Dear Nina,

You are already a month old! These days you still spend most of the time sleeping, but every now and then you are content to just look around, waving your arms and twitching your feet. 

You have such a range of facial expressions that change in an instant. There's the sweet angel face when you are sound asleep, with your cheeks that are fatter than ever. Then there's your red face with a white star, when something is really painful for you; how do you scrunch it up so tight?  You also have the turtle face, usually when you've just finished eating, where you pull your chin back and suck your lower lip under in a tigh little pucker - that one is not your best look. And of course there are your little smiles, smirks, yawns, and frowns that come and go sporadically. 

You also have a whole repertoire os sounds. I still haven't figured out exactly what the shrill, milisecond squeal means, maybe frustration? The deep grunt is definitely for bowels or gas. The smacking lips is clearly for hunger, accompanied by a screaming cry to wake me up at night for feeding. The repetitive wailing cry could be almost anything: you're too cold, you got disturbed, you have a full diaper, you want to be held, you want to be upright, you want your arms out of the swaddle, you don't want to sit in the car seat. That one is the trickiest to figure out. Sometimes as you fall asleep you let out a little whimper like a puppy dog, and after gulping down lots of food you often let out a big sigh.  Those are just adorable. 

You haven't experienced so many different activities, but so far you seem to enjoy having a bath, at least until it's time to get out. You love lounging in your baby bean bag chair and your baby bouncer, even if Kenna comes by to sniff you or lick your toes. You also love being held so you can lay on your tummy - you've had a few naps on Mommy's chest like that, and I think that's the best sleep you ever get. 

You've already come such a long way since your days in the NICU, and you've changed so much. I can't to see what new things you have in store for us next month!

Love,

Mommy

December 28, 2013

Dear Baby Bump,

I really miss you. Baby Nina decided she wanted to join the world a month earlier than we all expected, so our time together was cut short. Even though I was starting to complain about how big you were - it was getting so hard to put on my shoes, and I kept bumping you into tables - I really didn't mind having you around. I still instinctively put my hand over on the right side to feel for any kicks or squirms, but now it's quiet. Then I remember that Nina is already here and I'm happy with that realization, but still sad that she's not part of me anymore, going along everywhere I go, eating what I eat, hearing everything I say, listening to everything around me. 

We had a really good time together, you and me. And you were so cute, everybody loved you! You looked great even in winter sweaters, and you didn't knock me over even when I wore boots with heels. You never got quite big enough to be a true shelf or drink holder, but you were always a perfect fit for resting my arms. You were also so modest: even at the swimming pool people didn't notice you until I got out of the water. 

In the end you did your job, and you did it well. Next time though, could you let me know how I can keep you around a little longer? More milkshakes? More afternoon naps? Fewer dumplings? You'll always be the boss, so I'll do whatever you want. I really hope that next time around we can hang out together even longer. 

Miss you,

Allyn

December 26, 2013

Dear Nina,

This is the story of your birth... no disgusting details, just the order of events that led to your glorious entry into the world.

December 25
10:50 pm
I laid down in bed and felt your feet move way up under my ribs, and from what I remember there was a really big bump sticking out just below my ribs.  Then I got into bed and felt a little trickle, and when I looked there was indeed a little puddle of "water."

11:00 - 11:45 pm
I was in a bit of denial and disbelief as I sat on the toilet, trying to decide what to do first.  I checked the Sprout app to see what I should toss in the "hospital bag" and I checked the apps for United, AA, and Delta to see what flight your dad could catch from Cincinnati back to Houston.  I also sent a text to Dr. Stern and to Nina B. to possibly get a confirmation that it was in fact time to go to the hospital.

December 26
12:00 am
I woke up Grandma and Poppa to tell them that my water broke.  Grandma said, "Phil, feel her stomach."  Poppa said, "I don't need to go to the hospital; I have to go to work."  In a few minutes Grandma was dressed and we were on our way.  My contractions had definitely started, and when I used the Sprout app again to time them they were about two to three minutes apart, lasting a minute each time.

12:30 am
We checked in at the St. Luke's ER, confirmed my registration, and went up to labor and delivery triage.  The ER registrar was a nice guy that was sure his shift would end before I had a baby...

After being officially admitted I called your dad.  There was no answer on his cell phone so I woke up Nana and Papa in Cincinnati to let them know you were on the way and your dad needed to book a flight.

1:00 - 2:45 am
In triage I was two centimeters dilated, and contractions were still consistent.  The nurse, Amy, was great: she was calm and made everything clear and understandable.  I turned on Enya to relax, put on my hospital gown, and focused on breathing slowly.  I felt a need for number two, and when the nurse checked I was at seven centimeters.  The contractions were coming faster and stronger so they called Dr. Stern.  By the time he arrived it was hard to rest between contractions, and I was squirming and wiggling through each one.

I kept my eyes closed and tried to concentrate on anything I could remember from the HypnoBirthing class.  Before I knew it, bright stage lights were on, a lot of people were around, and they were telling me it was time to push.  They told me things like "Take a big breath, hold it, use it to push... Push harder... Don't vocalize, use it to push..." And all I was thinking was Just reach in and grab it!  Take it out! 

Then after a flash of searing pain they were handing a baby to me.  You were crying out loud and looked perfect.  Your cord was so thick, and Grandma was right there to cut it.  They told me you were a girl, and I really couldn't believe it.  I got to see the nurses weigh and measure you, starting checking you and cleaning you, while Dr. Stern took care of me in my final stages. 

What I did not fully realize at the time was that your dad called again to check on us right as you were coming out. Grandma put him on speaker phone, and one nurse said you turned your head toward it just after you were born, when you heard his voice. 

So, five weeks early, Christmas night, as a surprise to everyone, that's how you came into the world.

More in love than ever,
Mom